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Part 5: Mr. Spinkelheimer on the Move
This is a continuation of concerns raised by Mr. Spinkleheimer after Dr. Phobic spoke at the annual conference of the Drill and Kill Math Association of America.
The gleaming oak door of the Drill and Kill Math Association of America burst nearly off its hinges as Spinkelheimer rushed into the room.
“Boss! Boss! She didn’t know that a quart was one quarter of a gallon! She didn’t know!” cried Mr. Spinkelheimer at the top of his lungs.
“Spinkelheimer, please, sit down and tell me what you are talking about” said the Chair of the Drill and Kill Math Association of America.
Spinkelheimer dropped tensely into the plush leather armchair facing the desk of the Chair. Panting heavily, he began speaking, “Well, I have my sources you know, after that, after, well you know that sort of humiliating affair at the conference two months ago?”
“Spinkelheimer, I thought you learned something at that conference.”
“Uh, no, no. I didn’t. I mean, I. Well darn it all. I guess I did learn something about making math hands-on but that doesn’t change the fact that SHE didn’t know until very recently that a quart was one-fourth of a gallon.”
“And your point is?”
“Boss! What do you mean ‘And your point is? My point is we hired a speaker to come speak to us who doesn’t know a dang thing about math!” grumbled Mr. Spinkelheimer sarcastic.
“Spinkelheimer, calm yourself. Let’s just call her up and.”
“And another thing!” shouted Spinkelheimer, cutting off the Chair and leaping to his feet. “My sources overheard her drilling her son, her little six year old son on math facts! HA!” the words spit from Spinkelheimer’s snarling lips.
“Okay, okay. Sit down already. Let’s call her up and see what she says. I’m sure there’s an explanation” said the Chair as she began dialing.
“Math Phobic’s Anonymous. Can I help you?” intoned a female voice over the phone.
“Yes, this is the Chair of the Drill and Kill Math Association of America and I’d like to speak with Dr. Phobic please.”
“Certainly. Does she know you’re calling?” asked the voice on the other line.
“No, but I’m sure she’ll speak to me” sighed the Chair heavily, resting her cheek on his hand.
“Hello! Ms. Chair! How kind of you to call,” said a cheery voice into the receiver. “How are you today?”
“Well Dr. Phobic, I have Mr. Spinkelheimer here in my office and he, well, I am somewhat embarrassed to ask you, but Spinkelheimer says he has a source that told him that you did not know that a quart was a quarter of a gallon until very recently and also,” sighed the Chair again, “that you were drilling your son on math facts.”
“Why yes. That is true, both things are true actually.”
“Oh. I see” intoned the Chair glumly. “Can you explain yourself please? Spinkelheimer is fairly seething here in my office.”
“I have never said that rote practice doesn’t have a place in math. In fact, practicing of rote facts is important, and speed and fluency become essential in mathematical thinking. I was trying to make sure my son knew his basic addition facts and I was also trying to speed him up. Besides that, we were at a fast food restaurant and had more homework waiting for us at home. A quick drill is very practical under those circumstances.”
“So, let me get this straight. You believe in making math friendly, exciting and hands-on, but that a little rote practice isn’t harmful.”
“I believe that is what my message has been. Now let me explain the thing to you about the quart. That is true. I had no idea. Imagine shopping without understanding what you had when you had two quarts. To me, it was just two quarts of something. I knew that quarts were related to some other measurement somewhere but I wasn’t sure what. Please don’t ask me about pints, okay?” quipped the Phobic.
“But you’ve spent basically your entire life without knowing this concept?” asked the Chair. Spinkelheimer chuckled sarcastically in the background.
“You will remember from my presentation,” said the Phobic, “that I don’t believe I had good math instruction as a child. You know, long division, all those zero’s and all that. It was the same for measurement. Without meaningful connections, the pictures in a text book are just that, pictures. Some children are not going to be able to conceptualize the reality behind a picture. Math pretty much never made sense to me, especially in that format.”
“But then after all that time, how did you discover your problem?” asked The Chair.
“I think she looked in the mirror one day and said ‘I’m a dodo, ”snickered Mr. Spinkelheimer.
“That will do Mr. Spinkelheimer,” said the Chair coldly.
“No. It was a very simple hands-on math activity: folding paper. You see, if you have something kids can hold onto and feel and see, they can make the connections. When I folded the larger piece into quarters I as able to see that a quarter of the paper was the same thing as a quarter of a gallon, you know, a quart! The instructor was leading us in understanding hands-on activities with measurement.”
“Oh. You got it just because you’re an adult and now you cook a lot,” said Mr. Spinkelheimer.
“No, Mr. Spinkelheimer. I don’t cook a lot at all, and if I did, nary a recipe I’d be cooking would call for a quart of something. Well, except maybe a giant recipe of Christmas cookies that calls for ten pounds of flour, but that’s a story of one of my measuring misadventures and we’re talking about learning, Mr. Spinkelheimer, learning.”
“I’d like to hear about that measuring misadventure,” said the Chair.
“All in due time,” said the Phobic, “all in due time.”
To Be Continued...
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